I know you are curious about my living arrangements this winter. There is always something quirky about the places I stay and this time is no exception. Let tell you about the House of Flies.
This winter, I find myself residing at a quaint old farmhouse with three women. Okay, enough with the snickering. Honestly, there is some logic behind it! Before the deer trapping season began, a few of my crewmates and I decided to share the burden of housing. Lucky for us, we found a place that suits us and is manageable with the rent split four ways. The house has four bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen, dining room, living room, and ample parking — plenty of space for us. Plus, the morning commute is only eight minutes! I have to admit, it’s the most normal living arrangement that I’ve had on these seasonal jobs.
What are the quirks?
I noticed the first oddity shortly after my arrival. Unfortunately, it’s my bedroom! First come, first serve, right? The girls got their choice of living quarters because they arrived before me. Arriving last, I got the bedroom that no one wanted. The first thing I noticed was the funky flowery wallpaper. It’s quite obnoxious, except when the lights are off. Additionally, my bedroom is the only one not carpeted. No problem, hardwood floors are nice. Not quite! Try linoleum. My great sense of smell noticed a nice pairing between the floor and my brand new air mattress. Speaking of, sleeping was very difficult the first week because the room is very cold. I failed to anticipate the poor insulative property of an air mattress. Since then, I’ve supplemented my bedding with additional blankets and an old sleeping bag that I put under me. Least I forget to mention that I love to hear the loud droning of the electric pump when it inflates, especially right before bed. Let me go on! There is no closet. Almost a month in, many of my clothes are still in my suitcase. I utilize an odd built-in bookcase under the one window. It has a pencil sharpener bolted onto it for my convenience. The bedroom door doesn’t close all the way. I hope the girls don’t see my bright, white ass while I’m dressing. Oh, and speaking of the door, there is a lock that latches from the outside. They could lock me in my room!
That was just the my bedroom! I’m not even going to get into the plumbing issues because that’s not funny.
The most disturbing thing about the house are the flies — lots of flies. The flies are throughout the house, in every room, without exception. At any given time, you can hear them buzzing and knocking into things. They are slow and clumsy. However, killing them one by one is a futile endeavor because there are too many. I’ve had them land on my face as I tried to sleep at night. They have fallen into my food. It’s disgusting. Nonetheless, as the days pass, they are dying. Their tiny, little carcasses are everywhere. They are easily seen and swept up on my linoleum. Give it another week or two and they will be gone. I have my theories as to where they came from. Perhaps another time…
Besides these quirks, the farmhouse is a good place to call home #2. The flies are almost gone and I never spend much time in my room except to sleep and the plumbing issues should be resolved by now. My housemates/coworkers are great and we enjoy each other’s company. Plus, there is plenty of space for each of us. I think it will be just fine for the next few months.
We have an old farmhouse too with lots of flies and fake “ladybugs” (Asian Bettles). They are both gross. We have fly tapes hung in our attic. It was covered in hours. I hear all you are saying friend! Hang in there!
Good to hear that I’m not alone! We have the fake ladybugs at home too. We also tried the fly tapes at the farmhouse. Luckily, the population is dwindling.